Notes On An Obsession

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Notes On An Obsession

Tuesday, 19 January 2021 15:44

Marg2020
By Margaret Evans, Editor

Well, that was fast.

� �In our last issue, I opined: �If people with very different values and principles are going to live together in the same country (and even the same small towns) without killing each other� I believe we must learn to be�more�than just tolerant; we must learn to be forgiving. If we expect to survive as a nation, we must cultivate a spirit of forgiveness as if our very lives depended on it. Because they do.�

� �That column hit the street the morning of January 6^th, a day that will live in infamy. To coin a phrase. I feared I was being somewhat prescient when I wrote it � that violence was, in fact, on the horizon � but I had no idea how quickly it would come.

� �I�m writing�this�column on the Monday before Wednesday�s inauguration. I can�t begin to imagine what madness might transpire between now and then. Forgive me if this piece already reads like last week�s warmed over hash. I always strive for �timely yet timeless,� but I never dreamed of times like these.

� �Frankly, I�m at a loss. I�ve been writing this column for over 20 years, and for at least half that time � longer, actually � our country�s divisions have been my white whale. The topic I just can�t quit chasing. I�ve written essays with titles like �Our National Infection,� �A Dispatch from the Backlash,� �When Things Fall Apart,� and �The Hate Debate.� When I wasn�t writing about motherhood, movies, choral singing, or birding, I was writing about �Our American Tribe� or �Bridges Over Troubled Water� or �The Spaces Between� our political rocks and hard places.

� �It has been my obsession. Unintentionally, almost accidentally, I have made it my life�s work to understand our national divisions � and the people on either side of them. I�ve devoured reams and reams of political commentary, social psychology, theology, philosophy, history, and anything else I could get my hands on. Anything that might help me understand. I�ve hosted a virtual salon on my Facebook page for over a decade now, where people of both our major political tribes regularly come to joust. I have thrown myself into the fray, time and time again, trying to mediate between lefties and righties . . .��typically to the aggravation of both. While others have blocked, unfriended, and unfollowed their social media platforms into sleek, cordial echo chambers, I have kept my virtual doors wide open, to the increasing detriment of my mental and spiritual health.�

� �Why? I�m not sure, exactly. Maybe because the real-life stakes are so high for me? (I have beloved family members on both sides of the divide. Dear friends, too.) Maybe because I�m excessively curious about people and what drives them? Maybe I�m excessively driven, myself? Or maybe I�m just a flat-out masochist.�

� �Whatever the reason, I never felt like I had a choice. I was compelled. Called. I couldn�t imagine another way. I could never fathom how others so easily accepted the slogans, stereotypes, and simplifications foisted on us by our national media. Or how they so enthusiastically �took a stand� on one side of the divide, completely devaluing � even dismissing � the concerns of the other side. Or how they so blithely cut friends and family members out of their lives for taking the �wrong� position. (Some people even brag about it on Facebook!)�

� �For years, I nursed this bizarre illusion that a middle-aged woman sitting at her computer in Beaufort, South Carolina could hold the whole dang country together with her bare hands � especially all the people she loved � �if she could only read widely enough, listen hard enough, empathize fully enough, and pound her keyboard with enough intensity. Looking back, I have to laugh at that woman, even as my heart breaks for her lost innocence and idealism. (�Her� is me, in case you�re not following.) I�ve now given up any notion that I can somehow �change the world� with my words � or even make a dent in it � but the bone-deep need to understand still drives me. I suppose it always will.�

� �Three years ago, a reader wrote to tell me that I was too timid, that I stood for nothing of substance, that I was wasting my platform. She was angry that I didn�t use this page to regularly castigate Donald Trump and his supporters. And maybe she was right. Maybe I should have. But my heart and my gut told me otherwise. My reading, my listening, my thinking, even my praying � They all led me down a different path. And one thing I still believe is that a writer must follow her own path.�

� �Here are some things I�ve learned along mine:

� �Tribalism is deep in our DNA. In evolutionary terms, we�re barely post-caveman. It�s almost a miracle we�ve transcended our tribal instincts enough to create the (relatively) free and just society we enjoy today. And as we�ve seen recently, that free and just society is incredibly fragile. In our efforts to perfect it, I pray we don�t destroy it. (Lately, I�ve begun to think of America as a game of Jenga; I wonder how many pieces of our foundation we can remove before the whole shebang comes crashing down.)

� �Another thing I�ve learned: Our political orientations are also in our DNA. They�re literally genetic. No, DNA is not your political�destiny�� experience is important, too � but we are all products of nurture�and�nature. And guess what? Society needs conservatives�and�liberals! This is why their respective personality traits � yes, personality drives politics � have not been bred out of the human animal. Natural selection continues to �select� for conservatives and liberals and the moderates in between. We need each other to survive. I could go into all sorts of fancy details about why that�s true � google Moral Foundations Theory if you�re interested � but it basically comes down to balance.�

� �You might say, �But Donald Trump is none of those things � conservative, liberal,�or�moderate.� And you would be right. Donald Trump has led a populist movement, which is something else entirely. But populist movements don�t arise in a vacuum. There are reasons a man like Donald Trump came to power � social, cultural, and economic reasons. I don�t believe those reasons will simply evaporate when he leaves the White House.

� �Over the past decade, various demons have been unleashed, and I fear they�re here to stay a while. Trump undoubtedly emboldened those demons, but he didn�t create them. There are plenty of smart people trying to answer the question: How did we get here? I�ve been reading and reading, but so far, I�m not wholly satisfied with their answers. (I know. I�m a cheeky so-and-so, aren�t I?)�

� �So I will continue to dig and ponder and, as always, share my findings with you. (This is my obsession, remember?) Stay tuned. And please, please, dear reader . . .��stay safe this week.�